. amanda .
. 24th Nov '88 .
. Sagittarus .
. NYPian .
. [AF 0501] .
. ex-SACian .
. ex-SJCian .
. ex-MJCian .
a b o u t ;
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Friday, April 23, 2004
*saRahmariE: heyx..haha..thx!! i will take care..u oso wor..n study hard!! stay happy!! haha..
2day didnt stay back..haha..so happy sia..cos i went 2 look 4 her durin recess..den ya..hmm..i dun wanna collect $$ le..its like ppl say im a loan shark..oh well..shall nt let it affect mi..den she still ask mi do e acct tings..some more i dun noe hw lo.. so irritatin..haix..
o level chi is drawin so near..yet im still slackin..haix..wat;s gg on wif mi?? every1 so 'panic' except mi..argh!! sometimes i reali hate myself 2 e core..y do i do tings tt will hurt nt onli mi bt others? y?!?! argh!! life sux man..reali..i dun noe y i even wanna cont livin? bt it's oso nt rite 2 hurt others even more..rite? i tried..i tried 2 stop doin tings tt hurt..bt i always fail..i feel like a failure..i like nv did sth nice n gd..always failin..even when i try..mayb i did try hard enough..argh!! depression man..so many feelin gg inside mi nw..i hurt so many ppl..wat kind of a person m i? onli noe hw 2 hurt ppl..
mum..i found dis poem 4 u..u may nt c it..bt it says all i wanna say..
I'm Sorry I'm not who you want me to be.
Not the friend , the daughter ,
the sister or the girlfriend.
Everything I do I must do for the wrong reason.
I don't make the perfect grades , or dress the
way you want.
I'm sorry , I'm not the sweet , innocent angel
you always dreamed of.
I'm sorry for the for the lies and all those times
I made you so mad you could
just about cry.
Please forget about everything I ever did ,
forget about me completely.
I no longer want to be on this earth.
But don't worry about me where I'll go its
a happy place , a place where I don't have to
be sorry.
For I know my words mean absolutely nothing to you ,
But in the midst of this all , please remember ,
I'm sorry and I always loved you...
another poem..juz find it nice n wat im tinkin nw..
Where did you go, friend?
Days are bleeding into dark nights now
I sense the sky falling down on you
The stars telling me they’ll cry their blackest tears tonight
All the words you say now
Have lost their wings of innocence
You're talking backwards, seeming broken
I can't even try to comprehend
Somehow my words are rendered useless
Nothing ends this twisted, tangled dream
I wish there were something to hold on to
Before this chokes us to our senses
Please... Dry those tears for me
Let me see them glitter and tell me you’re alright
When the sun goes down tomorrow
I’ll remember this and every word you say
piano*gal >.<
life sux 2 e core...
thinking of you @ 7:21 PM
wishing for--*
* new tops/ bottoms/ jumper
* nail polish
* new highlights for hair
* new heels
* new diary (notebook)
* have a beta 2007
* be more decisive
movie list--*
happy feet
open season
Night at the Museum
charlotte's web
eragon
= the holiday =
curse of e golden flower
= zodiac =
= TMNT =
= Ghost Rider =
= Spider Man 3 =